Bonds Puts Juice into Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony

by Chris Lima
108 Red Stitches

Well, Macy's couldn't have picked a better Honorary Chair for this year's Christmas Tree lighting ceremony, selecting the Big Juicer to add a little juice to the tree's lights.

The ceremony will take place November 28th, and we all here at 108 Red Stitches would pay big money if one of the lighting workers "accidentally" spelled out (in lights) the phrase "Bonds Cheated".

In other Bonds news, he's happy to be away from the game of baseball.

We all are Barry, we all are.

Bonds Seeks Dismissal of Government's Case

Posted by ESPN News Services:

SAN FRANCISCO -- Barry Bonds asked a federal judge Monday to toss out most of the government's case against him that charges the slugger lied to a federal grand jury about his alleged steroids use.

In a filing made in U.S. District Court in San Francisco, lawyers for baseball's home run king argue that many of the charges stem from ambiguous answers to ambiguous questions posed by prosecutors.

Bonds is charged with 15 counts of making false declarations to a grand jury in December 2003 and one count of obstruction of justice. His lawyers on Monday asked a judge to toss out 10 charges. He has pleaded not guilty to all counts and is scheduled for trial on March 2.

Each count is attached to a specific question and answer or denial. While rarely are these motions granted, in this case many of the questions were indeed somewhat ambiguous, so it's possible some counts could be dismissed, but unlikely it'd be more than a few.

Even if the judge throws out the charges in question, Bonds is still going to trial, ESPN legal analyst Roger Cossack reports. It will take the judge two to three months to rule on Bonds' request.

The 44-year-old Bonds, an unsigned free agent, hit .276 last year with 28 home runs, 66 RBIs and a major league-high 132 walks. He doesn't admit nor deny using steroids in the latest court filing.

Instead, Bonds' lawyers argue that "the questions posed to Mr. Bonds by two different prosecutors at his grand jury appearance were imprecise, redundant, overlapping and frequently compound."

For instance, they argue that when Bonds denied if he had "taken anything like" steroids, he was answering a "fundamentally ambiguous" question.

A spokesman with the U.S. Attorney's office in San Francisco declined comment.

The 15 counts pending against Bonds are contained in a second federal indictment charging Bonds with repeatedly lying when he testified that he never used performance-enhancing drugs.

A federal judge threw out the first indictment and ordered prosecutors to draft a new one after she found some charges contained multiple allegations. The superseding indictment charged Bonds with making "false declarations" instead of "perjury."

Should Bonds Be Punished By Major League Baseball?

I'll be the first to admit that I do not like Barry Bonds.

I never liked him when he was a Pirate, I never liked him when he played for the Giants, and I sure as hell didn't like him whenever he floated the idea of becoming a Yankee.

As far as punishing Bonds, Major League Baseball has no right in punishing the "new home run king". Legally at least.

You see, Bonds is a crafty man, or so he thought. By opting out of the players union, Bonds became a one man marketing dream.

If you want Bonds in a video game (approved by Major League Baseball and the Players Union) you have to negotiate with him directly. If you want him to appear on your baseball card, contact Bonds' agent, not the Players Union. If you want to film a public service announcement with Bonds and one hundred other ball players, you'll get the ball players, but you'll have to pay for Bonds.

But, by opting out of the Players Union, Major League Baseball will never have to worry about punishing Bonds.

He punished himself.

Companies like 2kSports and EA Games refuse to deal with Bonds, and pay unrealistic sums of money to use his likeness in their baseball franchises. Instead, gamers have to deal with a forty year old white guy who bats and throws right handed, and who answers to the name of John Dowd. All his stats are set to zero, and there is no record of the all-time home run leader throughout any aspect of the games. If you play with the San Fransisco Giants, you're basically left with a forty year old rookie, making eighteen million dollars.

Bonds punished himself by making it almost impossible to remember him. Baseball card companies, already strapped for cash (dying industry) have a hard time justifying negotiations with Bonds and company.

By opting out of the Players Union, Bonds punished himself. He doesn't have the backing of one of the most powerful unions in the United States when he appears before court. Any deal Major League Baseball strikes with the government, leaves Bonds out in the cold. His arrogance and foolishness could lead to his eventual imprisonment.

So, you ask again, should Major League Baseball punish Barry Bonds?

No. I think he's done enough.

Is That Big Brother Tapping on My Shoulder?

Barry Bonds is being targeted again by Federal Prosecutors, according to ESPN.com Newshere; ESPN details the Government's decision to file a new superseding indictment against Bonds:

Last month, a federal judge ruled the U.S. government did not properly structure its charges that the seven-time National League Most Valuable Player lied to a federal grand jury about past steroid use.

"Pursuant to the Court's written order of March 4, 2008, we write to inform the Court and counsel that the government intends to seek a superseding indictment in this case," U.S. Attorney Joseph Russoniello wrote in a legal filing.

In a superseding indictment, the government can add more counts to its indictment against Bonds, but he won't necessarly face additional charges that weren't listed in the original indictment.

Time to Talk Turkey

Congressional hearings on an issue that has plagued America for almost two decades. Congressional hearings shedding light on faulty systems in place. Congressional hearings where finger pointing and the blame game have done nothing other than prove what a corrupt system can do to an institution. Millions of American tax payers' money being spent, yet there is still no solution, no plan, no end in sight.

For those of you thinking this is an article about the shortcomings of Iraq, health care reform, the burden placed on social security, or the head "scratchingly" absurd approval of multiple oil companies being allowed to merge, please stop reading right now.

We're talking about Congress taking its time to determine whether or not Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, or Miguel Tejada have taken steroids, or, "gasp" weren't telling the truth.

Shame on the Government for making a "Dog and Pony" show out of baseball's current steroid problem. Shame on the Committee who drag baseball legends before television cameras, berate them in front of their countrymen, and then when ESPN and CNN leave, ask them to sign a baseball for their son. Evidence of said behavior,

Near the end of the more than four-hour hearing, Rep. Elijah Cummings, a Maryland Democrat, told Clemens: "You are one of my heroes. But it's hard to believe you."

We understand there is a problem with PEDs and Steroids in baseball. Congress will waive the anti-monopoly act in front of Selig's face to get him and his players to talk.

We ask, is this the same anti-monopoly act that failed to make an appearance when Exxon and Mobile merge? Where is the Congressional Outcry for hearings and cameras?

Where are the Congressional Debates on the Iraq War? Why does Congress insist on spending so much time on America's Pastime, while America's Boys (and Girls) are fighting a confusing and almost un-winnable war?

Let's be honest, guys like Buster Olney and Peter Gammons have every right to attack and prod and poke and point. It is their job.

Guys like Indiana Congressman Rep. Dan Burton have NO BUSINESS weighing in on this subject. This is a political tactic designed to garner votes from his constituents and brand himself as an anti-drug agent. During the Clemens hearings Burton has this to say to Clemens:

"You lie when it's just convenient for you. I don't know what to believe. I know one thing I don't believe, and that's you."

Hard hitting, poignant, controversial. Completely useless. A complete waste of time and a waste of taxpayer money.

While we understand that the Steroid Controversy has effected fans, ballplayers, owners, sponsors, and television networks, the Steroid Era should not be handled in this fashion. No amount of Congressional Hearings or finger pointing will correct what has happened in the past. It's time to let go and focus on more pressing issues, namely the Iraq War.

Baseball is a game. War is not. It is shameful that our government has spent more time handing out subpoenas than it has spent handing out armor for our troops. Shameful that Roger Clemens is getting more press time than the wounded soldiers who return home, depressed and out of touch with society.

Focus on the real issues. Baseball is just a game.

Valentine's Day on the Diamond

Since the majority of pitchers and catchers have been or will be reporting to their spring training camps, we figured that, lost in all the hub-bub of moving and packing, baseball players might have forgotten to send their sweetie a Valentine's Day poem.

No need to fret, we've got it covered.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sorry honey, I took HGH
and steroids, too.

Baseballs are white,
and our turf is quite green,
Johan is gone,
and all hope, so it seems.

Stitches are red,
Roger Clemens is sad,
His best friend says K-man lied,
and that makes him mad.

We got a new name,
and some cool new digs,
but five bucks says,
you can't name a single player on our team
who plays in the Bigs.

Tulips are yellow,
and Violets are purple,
here's to hoping that my first plate appearance
makes me look not like Steve Urkel.

Lilacs are purple,
and their stems are shinny green,
how many times do I have to tell you?
I swear that I'm clean!

108 Red Stitches Mailbag

Time to open up the 108 Red Stitches Mailbag. To ask us a question email 108redstitches@gmail.com. Try to keep it baseball related, spammers not welcome, we know where you live and have Italians on our staff, and we're not afraid to use them.

Dear 108 Red Stitches, "We just started up a fantasy league with a bunch of my buddies from college. Obviously we've gotta wager on the season and I'm looking for an edge on the competition. Any suggestions?"
-Kevin in South Bend.

Well Kevin;
Seeing your email is from South Bend, we're figuring you could at least look to the luck of the Irish to get some help for your fantasy team. Most fantasy sites will tell you not to load up on one stat, home runs for example. Pitching is important, make sure you take a look at a guy's innings pitched, its a key stat in determining how reliable he'll be throughout the season.
So far, some pretty normal advice. Now here's where we put our spin on things. One of the most crucial elements to a successful fantasy season lies within your team's name. Picking some old ordinary name like Pinstripes, or the Bronx Bombers, or The Green Monsters does little to invoke fear into your opponent. Fear instills laziness in most Fantasy League players. The onset of laziness begets forgetfulness, which causes opponents to forget to check their lineup. Visit this site for a distinct advantage on naming your team.

Dear 108 Red Stitches; My favorite team just signed a player that's my sworn enemy. Now that he's playing for my favorite team, should I stop hating him? - Rich, Dallas

Hey Rich,
As a famous Emperor once said "Good Luke, let the hate flow through you." Free agency has made a mockery of Major League Rivalries. We've always felt that if the Yankees ever signed Barry Bonds, we'd probably set fire to the Stadium, or at least give up our season tickets. A lot of Yankee fans had similar feelings when Clemens signed on and a lot of Mets fans had confused feelings with the signings of Pedro Martinez and Tom Glavine. A lot of baseball fans are simply content with rooting for a jersey now, and attempting to remember who is wearing them.
Our advice Rich, "Give Milton a Chance!" (and tell your first base coach and/or manager to keep his hands off him).

Send us your questions at 108redstitches@gmail.com

Baseball's Bad Boys Are at it Again

Just when you thought the circus might be over, baseball's two biggest numbnuts throw another clown into the ring.

According to the Associated Press and ESPN.com Barry Bonds and Jose Canseco are neck and neck in the race to become "Baseball's Biggest Loser". Bonds asks a Federal Judge to dismiss the perjury charges levied against him, while Canseco asks a Tiger for, well, basically he asks him for a bribe.

Canseco, according to a report filed by the FBI, asked Tigers outfielder Magglio Ordonez to invest in a movie project funded by Canseco. In exchange, Canseco said he would keep Ordonez's name out of his upcoming book, a sequel to his 2005 hit "Juiced".

Mags had this to say according to ESPN.com:

"I didn't want to press charges against him," Ordonez was quoted as saying. "I don't want any problems. He is probably desperate for money. I don't understand why he is trying to put people down."

Ordonez was not one of the players named in the Mitchell Report.

Continuing the ongoing drama between Bonds and the United States government, Bonds asked a federal judge to dismiss perjury charges against him Wednesday, arguing the indictment is "scattershot" and noted for its "striking inartfulness." (ESPN)

Bonds and his lawyers complained that the line of questioning was ambiguous, confusing, and too much for Bonds' over sized noggin to handle.

New Year's Resolutions

One day into 2008, and Bed Selig just released his top ten goals for the upcoming season. In a 108 Red Stitches exclusive, we were able to get an advance copy of Selig's diary:

Dear Diary,
Happy New Year! 2007 had a rocky ending but I'm ready to look forward to a steroid free season. Seriously, this time I'm not kidding. So, with your help, here's my list of New Year's Resolutions:

1. Hire someone to take care of Canseco.

2. Make a killer "Bud Selig" create a player in this year's MLB 2K8. Anything less than 50HR/150RBIs and I'll reset my XBox.

3. Read the Mitchell Report and try to get past page 15 without passing out.

4. Win a Suzyn Waldman Look-A-Like-Contest.

5. Forgive Pete Rose.

6. Work on stand up act. See Resolution #5.

7. Hire this guy to lead new MLB tagline Committee.

8. Upload more MLB Fight videos to my youtube account.

9. Finish what I started.

10.


Fondly yours,

Buddy Selig.

Mitchell Report

I've been hearing a lot of grumblings lately, of people just looking for a simple list of the names on the Mitchell Report. ESPN has somewhat of a preliminary list, but it's missing some names (Mark McGwire, for instance). Here's a list courtesy of BaseballReference.com that lists, in alphabetical order, those named in the report:
And if you're interested in reading the entire report, enjoy.

Manny Alexander
Chad Allen
Rick Ankiel
David Bell
Mike Bell
Marvin Benard
Gary Bennett
Larry Bigbie
Barry Bonds
Ricky Bones
Kevin Brown
Paul Byrd
Alex Cabrera
Ken Caminiti
Jose Canseco
Mark Carreon
Jason Christiansen
Howie Clark
Roger Clemens
Paxton Crawford
Jack Cust
Brendan Donnelly
Chris Donnels
Lenny Dykstra
Bobby Estalella
Matt Franco
Ryan Franklin
Eric Gagne
Jason Giambi
Jeremy Giambi
Jay Gibbons
Troy Glaus
Juan Gonzalez
Jason Grimsley
Jose Guillen
Jerry Hairston
Matt Herges
Phil Hiatt
Glenallen Hill
Darren Holmes
Todd Hundley
Ryan Jorgensen
Mike Judd
David Justice
Chuck Knoblauch
Tim Laker
Mike Lansing
Paul Lo Duca
Nook Logan
Josias Manzanillo
Gary Matthews
Mark McGwire
Cody McKay
Kent Mercker
Bart Miadich
Hal Morris
Dan Naulty
Denny Neagle
Rafael Palmeiro
Jim Parque
Andy Pettitte
Adam Piatt
Todd Pratt
Stephen Randolph
Adam Riggs
Armando Rios
Brian Roberts
John Rocker
F.P. Santangelo
Benito Santiago
Scott Schoeneweis
David Segui
Gary Sheffield
Mike Stanton
Ricky Stone
Miguel Tejada
Derrick Turnbow
Ismael Valdes
Mo Vaughn
Randy Velarde
Ron Villone
Fernando Vina
Rondell White
Matt Williams
Todd Williams
Steve Woodard
Kevin Young
Gregg Zaun

All-Steroid Team

Usually, we might have titled this the season ending all-star team, a collection of the best athletes the majors had to offer this past season.
Not this year!
Here's a ster-studded cast of individuals that make up the 2007 All-Steroid Team, with their best season stats listed next to their names:

C Benito Santiago (1996; 30HR, 85 RBI, .264 BA)
1B Jason Giambi (2000; 43, 137, .333)
2B Brian Roberts (2005; 18, 73, .314)
SS Miguel Tejada (2004; 34, 150, .311)
3B Ken Caminiti (1996; 40, 130, .326)
OF Barry Bonds (2001; 73, 137, .328)
OF Gary Sheffield (1996; 42, 120, .314)
OF David Justice (93&00 - almost identical 40/41, 120/118, .270/.286)
DH Mo Vaughn (1996; 44, 143, .326)

SP Roger Clemens (1997; 21-7, 292 KO, 2.05 ERA)
CL Eric Gagne (2003; 55 SVs, 1.20 ERA)

Here's an interesting statistic too; almost every one of those players had their best season after either setting career lows the year before, or had injuries that severly hampered their production.
For example, lets take a look at Sheffield:
In 1995 Sheffield only plays in 63 games, hits 16 home runs and drives in 46 RBIs. Next season, he almost triples his stats from the year before. Sheffield doesn't reach those numbers again for another five seasons.
Need more proof? Clemens:
1996 he posts a 10-13 record, 3.63 era, and walks 106 batters. Clemens begins to hear those whisphers, and he signs with the Blue Jays the next season. Response? Twenty one wins, shaves a whole point off his era, and wins the Cy Young award.
Still not enough? Case #3, my favorite whipping boy; Barry Bonds:
Not even on the Nation's radar during the Big Mac/Sammy Sosa assault on Roger Maris' record in 1999, Bonds' home run totals begin to climb, rapidly; 34-49-73....during a career point that should have been focusing on hanging on for one more year....

Back in the Saddle

Good news loyal 108 Red Stitches blog readers! I've finally come out of my self induced baseball coma, one that kept me from writing for the past month.
So, what'd I miss?

Red Sox won the World Series? Did this coma transport me back in time?

Haha, you're funny, no way the Yankees "fired" Joe Torre.

Don Mattingly is going to be a Dodger? Are they really that hard up for a first baseman?

I'm sorry, the nurses must not have cleaned the wax out of my ears while I was napping, could you repeat that? A-Rod opted out? Did you say opted out, like, of his contract? So he's not going to be playing for the Yankees next season?

How will that effect next year's version of MLB 2K8? A-Rod will still be on the Yanks roster right? I want him breaking Bond's record while wearing pinstripes.

Did you just say that San Fransisco gave Bonds his walking papers? Well, that's nice. Good for San Fran.

He wants to sign with who?!?! Oh, Cashman has another thing coming if he signs that jerk.

Are we still talking about baseball? Because you mentioned instant replay for a minute there.

The Mets didn't fire everyone on their team?

The Phillies traded for Brad Lidge? What's the point of playing next year then? Might as well print off those championship t-shirt. Lidge solves EVERYTHING.

Really, so Tampa Bay gave up on the whole Devil thing? So you think that'll be the thing Peter Gammons points to when the "Rays" are leading the AL East?

I'm sorry, I thought you said the Devil sold his soul to Scott Boras.

The Joy and Sadness of Double Standards

I was talking to my girlfriend last night about something that's been bothering me lately. One of my favorite football players happens to be Shawne Merriman (OLB, Chargers). Don't ask me why, I just like him. Last season, Merriman was suspended for using steroids.
Didn't faze me in the least. Kept right on rooting for the man.
Now, Don Mattingly, my favorite baseball player of all time, forever and ever, has never been accused of taking steroids or growth hormone, or any other banned performance enhancing substance. The minute he does, I'll hate him for the rest of my life.
Done. Everything I own of Mattingly will be tarred, feathered, burned, ripped up, mailed back, and shot with a potato gun.
I wonder why that is.
Jayson Stark,ESPN, recently ran an article on the double standard that exists between the Barry Bonds case and the recent light that's been shed on Rick Ankiel.
I for one am guilty of what Stark outlines as "Double Standard #1; The Likeability Test".
In theory, a good journalist is supposed to leave his personal thoughts, beliefs, and opinions checked with his coat at the front door.
That is why I never got passed writing articles for the Quinnipiac University Student Chronicles.
I despise Barry Bonds and everything that he does, eats, watches, showers with, sleeps on, and mails his credit card bills to. There is not one single redeeming quality I can find in the man.
If he was to find a cure for the AIDS crisis, reverse global warming, wipe oil off a baby seal, develop a better mouse trap, and adopt a tribe of aborigines, I would scoff and chalk it up to a media publicity stunt.
Rick Ankiel could wipe out half of the rain forest, and I like many of my American counterparts, would smile and look in awe as he walks by, chainsaw in hand.
I can't figure it out.
Stark lists some possibilities for why this is plaguing me and scores of baseball fans throughout the country, and I think he may be onto something:
He wasn't even a hitter then.
It wasn't a banned substance then.
He had a doctor's prescription.
He was recovering from Tommy John surgery.
He needed it to heal.
He hasn't been accused of any "wrongdoing."
The media is out to get him.
It's not like he's Barry Bonds or something. (Stark; Exposing Our Dirty Double Standards)

Don't Look Now!

Barry Bonds, don't get too comfortable holding onto your throne. The record is yours right now, but believe me, what happened last week should (and will) keep him up at night.

Jayson Tyner hit his first major league home run. And he's not stopping until he owns your "record".

Well, Jayson Tyner is probably one of the least likely candidates to surpass Bonds, once he retires. But here's a list of guys that will most likely (as Bonds has so eloquently put it) erase the Slugger from History Books.

Obviously:

1. A-Rod; No one has gotten to 500 hum dingers this quickly. Since this is one of the most obvious of choices, I'm not going to discuss much more.

2. Albert Pujols; Sweet swinging first-baseman has the ability to replicate his swing almost everytime he unloads on a pitch. Whether or not he can uncork on say, 600 more of them, might be another story.

Outside shot;

3. Ken Griffey, Jr; Feel good story of the century. "The Kid" passes "The Juice". Griffey is too far gone, and has lost precious plate appearances to nagging injuries. Nothing would bring baseball out of its darkest period than Griffey trotting the bases...

4. Sammy Sosa; Just hit #600, but that'll be the end of the line for Slammin Sammy. He's lost playing time to a younger group of Rangers, and isn't upset by the benching.

Snowball's Chance in Philly:

5. Ryan Howard; if only! Sweet swinging lefty, who embodies (as of 3:01, August 13, 2007) all that is good in baseball. Too bad his major league debut came during his mid twenties, robbing him of valuable at bats that guys like Pujols, A-Rod, and Griffey all had. Howard spent too much time in the minors to be a considerable threat to break Bond's "record".

Time will tell:

6. Prince Fielder: 23 years old, powerful young lefty who hits the ball a ton. Is tops in the NL in Homeruns and is only in his second season. He could be a dark horse if he stays healthy and plays 20+ years.

New Home Run King

There's something seriously wrong with this first blog post. There's something seriously wrong with the title of the post. Something wrong with the photo to the right. No, its not the fact that baseball's "New Home Run King" is wearing drag or a wig, or is pretending that the nugget of a brain floating in his freakishly enlarged cranium can comprehend and process the words that are written on the paper he is holding.
There's something wrong with the way that Hank Aaron was trotted out on the San Fransisco scoreboard, congratulating Barry Bonds on passing his record.
In this crazed world of politically correct, where have (or why have) we gone wrong? I would have loved to see Hank Aaron appear on screen, look into the camera, and then remove his mic and walk away. Silence is always louder than words.
Throw the ball back.
You want something more historical than being the proud owner of the most coveted record in all of sports? Catch the ball, throw the ball back onto the field. Nothing would have made a bigger statement than a fan tossing an asterisk back onto the field.
Mahatma Gandhi once said “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
There's nothing special about Bonds' assault on Aaron's record. Pushing a needle or swallowing a pill does not dictate success.
Someday the madness surrounding the past week will go away and it will be a footnote in the memories of our pastime.
That's what we have to look forward to. We need a way to pass the time, to get to the point in history, when Barry Bonds, Home Run King, is nothing but an asterisk.