Valentine's Day on the Diamond

Since the majority of pitchers and catchers have been or will be reporting to their spring training camps, we figured that, lost in all the hub-bub of moving and packing, baseball players might have forgotten to send their sweetie a Valentine's Day poem.

No need to fret, we've got it covered.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sorry honey, I took HGH
and steroids, too.

Baseballs are white,
and our turf is quite green,
Johan is gone,
and all hope, so it seems.

Stitches are red,
Roger Clemens is sad,
His best friend says K-man lied,
and that makes him mad.

We got a new name,
and some cool new digs,
but five bucks says,
you can't name a single player on our team
who plays in the Bigs.

Tulips are yellow,
and Violets are purple,
here's to hoping that my first plate appearance
makes me look not like Steve Urkel.

Lilacs are purple,
and their stems are shinny green,
how many times do I have to tell you?
I swear that I'm clean!