Patiently Waiting: MLB 2K8

We here at 108 Red Stitches are scratching our heads in wonder; "Why no updates from 2K Sports on their latest video game title?"

December 8, 2007 was the last update to their site. Refreshing hundreds of times on their landing page, we only get "Image Coming Soon" and "Video Coming Soon" banners.
There's no sneak previews, no screen shots, no hints as to what's coming next. The only info on the game is what's posted in the press release section, announcing Jose Reyes as the next cover boy for the series.

So we thought we could make some predicitions to help you guys out. We know you're looking for MLB 2K8, the folks at FeedBurner are telling us so.

108 Red Stitches Predictions for MLB 2K8:

1. Improved Injury Reporting System: Now, along with missing five games due to a pulled hammy, players can be suspended for use of PEDs. (XBox Cheat Code for administering Flaxseed Oil is - Left Trigger, A, A, Right Trigger, Left Stick Click.)

2. Build Your Own Stadium: EA Sports managed to work that into their system before the series died, now 2KSports has acquired that knowledge. Design every last detail, including the height of your bullpen walls to keep guys like Karim Garcia from going after the fans.

3. Design A Player: Function is improved to include adding custom designed jewelry, grill plates, and add custom designed felonies.

4. Sell Google Adspace On Your Outfield Walls: Just enter your Adsense Account ID and Paypal info into the correct fields, and within minutes, Johnny Damon will be crashing into a Penile Enhancement Ad.

5. Real Time Player Interaction: Is your XBox system running slow or are your Wii Remote Batteries waining? Well, Jose Reyes is designed to run as fast (or slow) as your system prohibits. Want to make sure he runs out that ground ball? Make sure you use Lithium Batteries in your wireless controller!

6. Special Mini Games: Unlock hidden mini games such as BeJuiced or Pin the Tail on the Boras. See how much HGH you can inject into Barry Bonds (excuse me, John Dowd, because Bonds is too good for the Players Union) before he gets caught by that pesky Mitchell guy!

7. Create a Team Function: Draft hidden talent, farm Major League Super Stars, and then trade them away to cut costs, the Jeffrey Loria way!

8. New Bench Coach Mode: Watch the entire game from the bench. There's no real reason for you to be playing in this mode, because you only get to play for whatever team Joe Torre is coaching, and you only get to make one suggestion per game. It usually gets ignored.

9. Superstar Mode: Follow a player through his college life, the amateur draft, the minor leagues, his three weeks in the majors, and then retire and run a car dealership until Ken Burns contacts you to make a documentary on baseball.

10. User Generated Feature: Because We're All Out of Ideas. So 2KSports is letting you, the gamer, handle all of our important PR, development, and strategic decisions from now on. We're washing our hands of all this.

Hey it worked for Doritos.